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Initial Contacts with the Disputing Parties 45 ple, a husband may call a mediator and request help in negotiat- ing custody arrangements with his estranged wife, or a govern- ment agency may request assistance in negotiating with a public interest group. If the parties have not started to negotiate, the request for mediation may mean that discussions are preferable to avoidance, stalemate, or competitive approaches to dispute resolution. A request for mediation may also signal a desire to cooperate for mutual benefit, a willingness to make concessions, or a belief that total victory is not possible. People in conflict are often reluctant to ask for a third party's assistance. Parties are afraid that their request for inter- vention will weaken their negotiating position and damage the possibility of a satisfactory outcome. Reluctance to calla medi- ator is especially strong once parties are in the midst of negotia- tions and have reached an impasse. Theodore Kheel, a labor mediator, describes the problem faced by a party who is initiat- ing the entry of a mediator: "If you've reached an impasse, it can be assumed that both sides have put forth what they claim will be their final offers. In that situation a proposal by one side or the other to bring in a mediator is obviously a signal that that side is willing to go still further" and grant more concessions, for instance (Shapiro, 1970, pp. 41-42). Reluctance to appear weak or to make additional offers often discourages a request for a mediator. If the party does ask for third-party assistance, he or she is probably following the traditional negotiator rule: "Always save something for the mediator" (Downing, 1960, p. 62). Similar problems to those described above hold true for subgroups or coalitions of parties who request .mediation. Risks, however, may be blunted when more than one party make such requests. The initiative can be framed in terms of the needs of all disputants rather than those of a single party, thus lowering the expectation of new concession making. A proposal for mediation, especially in interpersonal or community disputes, raises the possibility- of procedural rejec- tion by another party. Several studies have examined the rate of refusal to initiate mediation in community and interpersonal disputes. Cook, Rochl, and Shepard (1980) found that people